Definition of Safety:
Essential Meaning of safety
1: freedom from harm or danger : the state of being safe
If there is one thing I’ve learned from my experiences it is this: Emotional and physical space with a new partner after traumatic divorce is key to welcoming vulnerability and long lasting connection. Give each other space for the ups and downs. Sit in grace and LISTEN. Literally, zip that mouth when they are speaking!
I’ve never been afraid of being alone, in fact I welcome it. What I was afraid of was telling my partner I needed unassisted time to myself. Not because I am not 1000% dedicated, but because I thought it wasn’t ok. You are disrespecting yourself if you do not allow yourself some solitude.
We are responsible for our own happiness. Relationship isn’t about fixing one another. It’s having the maturity to know the purpose is to love each other through the ups and downs, and not give up. It’s focusing on allowing each other to be vulnerable, without judgment.
Dedicate yourself to someone who has the passion to grow in self, WITHOUT you, then WITH you in awareness.
Create a habitat of emotional safety. Key word being SPACE. Then create a haven of security that honors each other’s painful pasts, then embrace that it is what brought you together. When I met AW he immediately and consistently supported me on this journey. At the time I released little snippets of what happened in my divorce. Then I felt safe enough with him that I could truly feel my feelings and lean in. It is the most beautiful type of support.
HONOR that past because no matter how painful, there was a reason. Without a loss there cannot be a gain. I am no expert. I am dealing with life just as you are through all of its unforeseen plot twists. What I can say is I’ve learned, though not perfected, the art of managing my reactions, yet not suppressing my emotions.
That my friends is such warm feeling that can only come from you, your process and a partner that doesn’t try to be, or ask you to be, anyone but yourself.
So, who’s ready to paint with me?
© 2021, Alison M. Cameron. All Rights Reserved.