As I reflected on my 48th trip around the sun this month, I couldn’t help but think about where I thought I would be at this time in my life.
“Your life doesn’t get better by chance, it gets better by change.”
It wasn’t splitting my time between multiple homes, gathering eggs, and raising chickens. That I can tell you! Never in my wildest dreams, but I digress…
I truly thought I’d still be happily married and waiting for grandkids. Retired, living on an exotic island slinging drinks at a dive bar I owned. Traveling whenever possible of course. I’d also be living in a little lock & go townhouse in the CITY.
All of the above is where I had worked so hard to be someday. And it was indeed a beautiful painting!
I have referenced before the “canvas” that we paint with our partners.
The canvas of what our life is “supposed” to look like. The dreams, the goals, the ideas, and the future we want.
When that goes to hell it’s scary! Everything and everywhere you thought you’d be is, poof, gone in what feels like an instant. I mean good grief where do you even begin to rid yourself of that fantasy?
It sounds so simple, yet I appreciate it is not.
I must tell you, letting go of that vision, that canvas I had painted before, was the best way to mental clarity and real happiness.
And it took work, but then I finally began painting again.
So why do we fear creating that new portrait? For me, it was the unknown. But what I realized is when you can really be okay with things not going the way you had planned, life really does begin again.
Your ability to love begins once more, and what’s so beautiful is that it will begin with newfound clarity.
Love is truly life’s greatest gift. Love is worth the risk. Once I removed the fear, the anxiety of not knowing where life was taking me, everything was brighter.
And when I least expected, it love found me.
Finally, one of the many outcomes of my wellness journey is the lessons I learn about myself. The choices I get to make for my future are my choices.
It is ME and me alone that is painting that new untouched, bright, clean canvas in every shade I choose. And that my friends the greatest gift!
So I implore you to get to your nearest art store and load your cart with every paintbrush and color that fills your soul.
© 2021, Alison M. Cameron. All Rights Reserved.
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